Yelling to shut women up

 "I told you," I roared. It was always the easiest way to shut women up.

I jot notes when reading. Unfortunately I do not note the novel I was reading when I jotted down notes. Perhaps it was Unfollow Me. 

The man's comment reminded me of something I read long ago about controlling people. I can not find the quote just now. Something about abusive people using anger to control people, because people are afraid of angry people. 

The character said yelling was the easiest way to shut women up. I would say it is the easiest way to shut anyone up. 

Flashback: home from a day at the shore, at stove cooking spaghetti, a guy is in the other room of small apartment talking to my roommate. Suddenly he is in front of me screaming ~ calling me a liar, and, I guess a whore.  I was shocked into silence.

Later years I wish I could revisit that moment in time and tell the guy to get the hell out of my apartment or I would call the police. How dare he verbally attack me like that! But I was young and dumb or naive as theysay.

What happened: I had a date with a guy I had been seeing. The guy never showed up. I do not recall why I stopped by my parent's home. My little sister wanted to come to the shore with me. I told her I could not take her, "Dad would throw a fit." I picked up my older brother to come with me. He asked to bring a friend. I no longer recall which friend it was. 

The other wannabe guy saw my sister. She told him I went to the shore with so & so. Maybe I took two of my brother's friends along. 

I did not have a telephone yet. My date's car was not starting, he needed to borrow a car from his brother, which he later explained to me. I did nothing wrong. I explained to the arse what happened and why I took brother & friend to shore, rather than going with Teddy, as planned.

I did not even like the guy. I am still puzzled how I ended up married to him, 3 children and 13 miserable years before I left him. I was afraid of bossy, controlling, jealous boys (18 or so, not quite adults yet.) A few dates and they were gone from my life. That scene in the kitchen replayed over and over again ~ false accusations, yelling, unable to have conversations.

If anyone reads this: Beware! The first time a date yells at you, is when you tell them to hit the road, and do not look back. It just gets worse.