So Tired, So Cold, So Wet

My routine was to go sleep in Marie's spot. 11PM to sleep and amazed how fast I became able to fall asleep to Ocean Blvd. traffic and with lights on. I used to be distributed by neighbors TV's or other noise and need pitch black to sleep. I guess my learning to sleep with lights and noise began at the LA New Image Shelter. Here, like there, I would awaken anywhere from 3AM to 5ish. I hated when the watch read anywhere before 5:30AM. The restroom at Alamitos opened at 6AM. Many times it opened earlier. It was a short walk from Marie's spot to get to that open bathroom. I would walk back to 7/11 to get coffee. Walk back to the beach, to shiver and shake until the sun poked it's head from behind the clouds and it would be warm enough to take off the layers of clothing. That darn rain!

Soaking wet, I would hang my coat on the short stall walls and begin the process of changing wet socks, wet pants and so on. I would hang the sweatpants that I wore over my jeans every night to sleep over the stall wall too. The jeans were usually dry enough, but I had to remove them to take off the "long johns" underneath. One early, early AM I was so tired, I did the unthinkable. I
laid down on the floor, curled in my ball, head and upper body on my backpack, next to a stall wall and the toilet. I fell fast asleep, waking just before dawn. This became a routine for me. Blessed sleep indoors.

The slightest noise would wake me and I could sit up if anyone entered the restroom to avoid anyone knowing I had been sleeping next to a toilet. So it was one morning when the Park guy arrived to clean the restroom. I was aware of the routine and these guys usually did that somewhere between 10AM and Noon. The men usually call out "Hello is anyone in there" before entering. Do not recall if this man did that or not. I had quickly jumped from the floor to sit on toilet~being short I am one of the lucky ladies that can not be seen from the entranceway~stood up, so the man would think I had been doing what people do in restrooms. This happened several times and I would hurriedly put on my coat, grab my stuff and leave.

I had to stop using that spot as my early morning nap place after the incident. Most of these Park people are very nice to the homeless. They overlook infractions of the law, such as drinking alcohol and loitering. They will give the homeless a trash bag from their supplies to use as a homeless raincoat or to keep their backpacks dry. Sometimes they will give a buck or a quarter to a homeless person. I thought this Park guy like that, making me feel less embarrassed about being homeless. Then he offered me money for a favor. I declined. It was pouring rain and I stood outside under the tiny ledge on the outside of the restroom, trying to figure out where to go and dreading the process of getting soaked again, not that anything had come close to drying yet.

The Park guy came out of the restroom and apologized for insulting me with his crude offer. He was only trying to help he said. He handed me a $10.00 bill which I refused. He pleaded with me to take it. Said he felt so bad about hurting my feelings, to please just take it. He seemed contrite, so I did. As soon as I did he grabbed me, trying to drag me back into the ladies room. I shoved him away and threw his bill on the ground, cussin' him as I walked out into he pounding rain.

When I shared this story with my homeless buddies, most felt I should report him. I thought not. His word against mine and he was in the right. I was the homeless gal sleeping in a public restroom, ya see. I also realized I should not have shared the tale. A couple of guys wanted to kick the Park guys butt, thinking it was one of the other nicer guys. Most of the Alamitos crowd was never up early enough to see this guy, whose job was usually just to pick up the trash bags, not do the bulk cleaning of restrooms.

11/29/2007