Strange

Strange encounter with woman yesterday. "Do you have any spare change?" she asked. No I do not, but sat on bench in front of Belmont Shore library branch to get wallet and give her a dollar bill. Short on quarters for the bus.

She quickly picks up her backpack from bench, stands, grabs handle of rolling type backpack saying, "Here I will give you some room."

"Are you homeless?" I asked as I sat.

"No, are you?" she replies.

"Not anymore," I say.

As I go to give her the dollar she declines. "You look like you need it more than me." She continues, "A lot of people with too much money...".

Okay, I am guessing this strange encounter, means she is a homed individual who pretends to be homeless to increase her own wealth. I had been told ~ even before my street living days ~ that Belmont Shore area was the best place to panhandle. People there had money and were generous to homeless people.

I could never get the courage to beg or overcome pride needed to do so. Hated even to accept when someone gave me money or gifts unasked. Would remind self about the thousands of times I helped a homeless person; yet I always would rather be the giver than the taker.

The other thing that struck me strange was her comment about my appearance. I was wearing a skirt, rather than my normal daughter's outgrown sleeveless jeans dress, quite faded with missing buttons that I have been using as beach wear for as long as I can remember. Okay, not as long as I can remember; perhaps as far back as 1994.

Over the short tank top was a sleeveless what do you call them, 1/2 shirt. L.A. Gear. I know I had that since 1991 because I remember packing it to wear for my first visit to California. So its old. I like old clothes. The spandex shorts worn under the skirt are no longer form fitting. I wear them to go into the water. Bought, 2001 when I stayed at that horrid Monterey motel for six weeks. They were hanging a tad bit below the leopard print skirt. Colors not matching.

Sneakers not old and socks are socks. The pink and black baseball cap, someone gave to me, homeless 2006. Last August, dripping sweat stained the bill. Scrubbing by hand or washing machine wash, did not remove the white stain. Carrying a too large red backpack. The smaller backpack given me in 2006 disintergrated, forced to carry a tote or remove laundry supplies from larger pack. Easier for me to use a backpack than carry anything slung over shoulders.

I did not think I looked homeless or needy. So, I thought, "She must have noticed the teeth." Or should I say missing teeth? What bothered me was how she started walking away from the bench and as soon as I got up to continue on my way, she plopped herself right back down again.