Sunday, April 17, 2011

Father Connection

My father was being treated for arthritis for a year. He was in so much pain he called his doctor who told him to take more aspirin. Then he called my mother at work and asked her to take him to a hospital emergency room. She refused. That old German Protestant work ethic, thous shalt not miss a day of work. Or they both thought my father was just a grumpy old man.

So dad called an ambulance to transport him to the emergency room. He was admitted to the hospital, x-rays taken, put into traction. When the doctor read his x-rays, he had dad taken off of traction immediately ~ "...he has cancer".  I do not know the chronologically of what followed. He was operated on to remove the tumors. He had skin grafts. He had his testicles removed and given female hormone shots to retard the growth of cancer.

It had spread all over his back, and I think working its way down his leg. I guess he was not doing too well when my sister made that phone call. By trying to spare his children worry, he caused a major shock and upset to me. Some of the family living nearby may have known. Like me, a brother and his wife lived in Pennsylvania. I called Richard and he said they were leaving to get to the New Jersey hospital "right now." Do not recall what my husband said, just that I had to sit and wait for him to get home from work. Endless.

After, family was surprised by my near-hysterical reaction to that phone call. They would expect it, they said, from my younger sister, who was very calm. Because my pain went away once I learned of my father's suffering, the "connection" thing was borne in my mind.

Thus, in 1998, my strange "shooting heroin" feeling made perfect sense to me. Another was an angel spreading her wings and leaving my body. At the time, I wondered why she would leave me when I needed her to most. LOL I felt this. I did not see here, a vision or minds-eye picture of her wings spreading from behind me, as she rose, heading towards the ceiling.

Job stress? Take three days off and call if you need Valium.

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