Saturday, May 06, 2017

Throw It Away, Throw It Away, Throw It Away

Wake up in the middle of the night; visual memory floats through my mind, now angry over getting yelled at yesterday.

I was going through files in an upstairs file cabinet, mainly to salvage some Very Old Stuff from the recycling bin before Dorothy tossed it.  I was creating two folders; one medical, the other financial. A brother and sister asked to see them ~ "if you find Dad's," or Richard's or Mom's. Susan could not remember a date of something; wanted to look through medical records.

I did not question why, I just respected my siblings request that I save certain things for them to look at. Dorothy does not like clutter, so she started cleaning out that file cabinet. Funny, she goes on and on about how much she hates clutter, yet never minds her boyfriend's and her own clutter ~ in living room, in former guest room, in kitchen, on the back porch...

...a filing cabinet in upstairs hallway does not constitute clutter.

I never said that to her ~ about the clutter. When I left the kitchen shelves alongside the window were clutter-free, just Mom's knickknacks on the shelves. Do not know what they looked like when Dorothy moved into mother's home to assume caregiver duties. The counter and kitchen table were clean and free of clutter also. Not so now.

The back porch was clean and clutter free; off topic.

Do not know why Dorothy was standing over my shoulder. I started putting a Life Insurance Policy in the Financial folder. "Throw it away," she demanded. "No," I said, Rocco & Susan, blah, blah, blah. NO THROW IT AWAY, throw it away, throw it away. So I dumped it in the trash can where I was dumping recyclable papers.

The insomnia night, had me looking back, angry at myself for listening to her, rather than doing what I wanted. The only thing I come up with is she said the policy expired at a certain age. At the time I guess I assumed she knew what she was talking about; that she definitely knew this particular policy had expired.

Still, I would never throw away an insurance policy without first reading it. Yet I did as she commanded.

Mother passed away now, they were talking about her J & J Life Insurance Policy. They did not know how much it was worth. I am left wondering if that policy Dorothy insisted I throw away was the J & J policy. Do not know if companies give employees a copy of life insurance policies. I think they would do so.

I suppose getting yelled at more recently brought back all those other instances of her yelling at me.

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