Friday, May 05, 2017

Harboring childhood resentments

"I do not know why you call it my dollhouse; I never played in it because Daddy put his tools in there," my sister yelled at me. She did not say "you all," or maybe she did. It was all encompassing, but why did she reserve her wrath to spew her anger at me?

She did play in her doll house. I repeated as story about My Big Fight With Joanne. The hair pulling childhood fight started in Dorothy's doll house. We were playing dress up wearing my older sister's dusters, probably borrowing some of their necklaces or beads. Having a tea party, perhaps. Dorothy's little table and chairs were in her doll house.

Joanne and I were in 5th grade when we brought the little cardboard dollhouse to school for show and tell. The 6th grade girls sneered at us, "You still play with dolls." Therefore the Big Fight With Joanne happened later. Meaning Dorothy did indeed get to play in her doll house.

That is not the only childhood resentment she is harboring.

Rather than being glad that she had a grandfather that noticed her, built her a large dollhouse, she is angry.

My father kept his wheel barrows, ladders and such in The Chicken Coup. Perhaps, because Dorothy never played in her doll house, he started putting excess tools in her doll house. I only vaguely recall something of Dad's lying on the windowsill after she mentioned it. One little thing did not make the tiny house unusable.

My brothers took the chicken coup, attached it to Dorothy's doll house when they were in high school. They made it into a print shop; later moved print shop into the wall in section of the garage, due to lack of heat. They had a kerosene heater to heat garage.

I could understand if Dorothy resented that but she never mentioned that the brothers doing it disturbed her. Even if it did disturb her, we are now closer to death than to childhood, which is why I mentioned a psychiatrist ~ harboring childhood resentments is not healthy.

Me getting yelled at due to her harboring of childhood resentments disturbs me.

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