Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Revisiting the past

Walking along shoreline, felt Eddie's presence. It was as if he would be sitting up there under a tree near the Alamitos beach area when I got there. Eddie is no longer among the living. I thought about the time our peers were wondering where Eddie was. He had taken a rare walk along the shoreline. I only have a vague recollection of him joining me on one of my jaunts down by the water's edge.

I probably would have stayed at the beach longer, except dreaded the thought of using disgusting port-a-pot at what is known as "the gay beach". Did not bring snacks with me; body felt weird, not hungry exactly, sort of the shakes. After trekking back to the Alamitos restroom, sat on bench to clean sand off feet, put on sneakers, then headed up to the corner 7/11. I miss the gas station mini-mart that used to be there.

I opted for a chocolate brownie rather than chocolate candy of some type. Usually when I get that shaky feeling a piece of chocolate fixes body. Took slow walk towards Transit Mall, then decided to revisit my old sleep spot. As I sat eating the brownie, remembered when...

Told someone I did things I would not normally do when I was homeless. Or words to that effect. "Like what?" the someone asked. Well, duh, like sleeping on sidewalks, for one. The first time I did that was at the spot shown in photo.

My plan to stay awake nights, sleep on beach during the day did not last more than two weeks. I was so tired, could not keep my eyes open; could not take another step. I was sitting on the retaining wall, then curled up against backpack, and tried to sleep not so hidden in that little corner, not even worrying about spiders and other bugs or people.

Neighbor Chris is back. Listening to him cough, 11:30PM. Door still open, fan on. Shall see when I turn it off and shut door, if I will be able to go to sleep. I keep wondering if I would be able to do it again ~ curl up in my old sleep spots as I used to do every night of the week.

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