Friday, August 03, 2012

We drank for joy...

...and we became miserable ~ people to be around I add to that Alcohol Anon. adage.

Doug has pancreas cancer; he is depressed. I guess that is why he started boozing it up again, although, likely he never stopped, except perhaps for a week or so. He told me once he was clean and sober for X number of days , or "off the booze" or however he stated it. Then I saw him at Mike's church Food Bank. Someone gave him plastic bags which he turned in to buy a beer. I think he explained the plastic bags contained aluminum cans or something like that.

That day he said he never said he quit drinking beer, just alcohol. I did not argue the point, tho' know he had meant he was not drinking at all anymore. Where do I start, this takes so many words to tell it, sigh. I guess on Valentine's Day.

I bought a cheap box of holographic like Valentine's cards, the small kind kids give to each other at school. Heavy plastic, broke them apart, picked out ones to send to granddaughters, their parents and then also son, wife, grandson. I still had a lot leftover. Heading out to library, I put a bunch in my pocket. I saw Mike by mailbox, spread out 5 or 6 and said, "Pick a card, any card." Then saw Doug and did likewise.

I asked both guys what cards they got ~ words like "You're groovy", psychedelic hippie designs. Library clerk liked his: You are far out. I asked if he was, it fit somewhat, he said. It was simply a way to do something unexpected, bring smiles to people's faces. People on the street seemed suspicious and I stopped trying the "pick a card" thing, just bringing the remainder of cards home with me.

Do not much remember after that, Doug making a fuss about it, me asking if he wanted more. Doug knocking on my door, to tell me he put the card in a little photo album he has, Doug knocking on door wanting to give me something because I gave him that card. I explained it (several times) that I did not give to get.

"Do you wear jewelry," Doug asks one day when I opened my door to his knock. "Not really," I say. He has a little bracelet he wants to give me ~ because I gave him the card. Sigh. I truly do not want it, but he looks so sad, I felt bad saying "No thank you," so finally accepted it ~ will send it to granddaughters next time I mail them something.

Think I am going to start calling Doug: Sad Sack. No way was I thinking: alcoholic manipulating me. Sigh.

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