Friday, August 31, 2012


No homeless mentions in Jeanne Matthew's Dinah Pelerin mystery novel, Bonereapers. The novel is set in Norway. Dinah thinks squatters may be living in a boarded-up old hotel.

I am sitting here in the dark, August 26, 2012. Wasted another day staying indoors in order to finish reading the book before dark. Normally I will take book to beach or park to read, picking it up again in the evening before bedtime. Reason I am sitting in the dark is because I want to give neighbor Phil the impression that I am not at home.

As mentioned I startle easily. With neighbor Chris being away I love being able to open the door to let stale air out and bring fresh air inside. I only open door partway, fan slanted against the opening. I do this on purpose, so the neighbors will not be peering inside, or otherwise bothering me.

Of course that did not stop John from calling out my name, so I got in habit of quickly closing door when I heard his voice. I was reading or typing one night when Phil approached my door, saying whatever he said. My reaction was to freeze. I have mentally prepared exactly what to say to him, yet due to my physical reaction, did not get up (and read him the riot act); just ignored him.

Think he then said, "Are you sitting there?" I did not reply and he went away.

I get that startle reaction when other men suddenly say something while walking past my door. Chris' cough will do. John's sudden slamming, banging, thumping does it, almost every day. Think I would be used to it by now, like when a dog suddenly barks, or a helicopter starts its circling nearby, or a car alarm goes off, but no, I still startle.

At night I am trying to chill and relax before bedtime. I am tired of getting up to find out what Phil wants ~ "I am going to Bible study...", "I just came home from Bible study...", "it is Food Bank this Saturday."

I do not always startle that easily during the day when someone knocks on my door. So tired of neighbors who think it is okay to knock on my door with their agendas. I am sorry I volunteered at Phil's church's Food Bank. An excuse for him to bother me and disturb my peace. I was going to do it two more months ~ making it a full year of volunteering once a month.

After my blow-up with Doug, all their rudeness, especially Phil's came back to me. The thought of hearing Phil's monotone drone is too much for me. I imagine potential conversations and do not want to have any with him ~ not that he converses, he just starts talking and keeps on going. Oh, he will pause to give me a chance to say something, but now I am quite sure, he has never listened, just waiting until I stop speaking so he can continue ~ often waiting, just talking right over me.

Easier at the moment to sit in the dark, door closed, not being able to read, not being able to finish up with stuff from the novel.

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