Options

April 5, 3:49PM if I still had enough teeth in my mouth I would bite myself right now. Sort of sobbing. I can not take it anymore. I go to sleep at night thinking what options I have left to me. The prospect of one second more of listening to the big mouth across from me coughing and talking is more than I can bear. And I have definitely had worse times in my life. Maybe it is due to those worse times that I can no longer deal with it again.

Were you ever forced to listen to two people talk loud, non-stop for six hours straight, not a breath or pause, sometimes both speaking at once? That would be Chris and Bill when Bill still lived on premises. Who times people when they are talking? It must have been pretty bad if I started looking at the clock at the sound of their voices.

I like hearing birds chirping. This morning the chirping bird put me in a bad mood. Because the chirping bird is in Chris' apartment and if I am hearing it, his door is open; as if I did not know that his door was open. Why ever close a door when you go to bed at night, so what if you live in an apartment complex and your door faces another neighbors. Tee hee, I do not care if she sees my big fat butt and underwear. Okay, maybe his butt is not big and fat. He is a heavy young man.

Cough, cough, cough. I have been listening to his coughing for three weeks. Knew he was still sleeping when it was only the bird chirping, soon his coughing starts and phone calls. I am working on my mental attitude, trying to learn to accept and cope with this. The only I option I see is skip paying the rent next month, let them evict me, so I will have some spare change to take with me back to the streets.